Monday, May 30, 2005

rambling

Today was a still and overcast day, heavy with moisture, which soon covered the skin with a thin film of sweat. I woke up tired, the guests who were here yesterday left in the evening, another remains and a couple are expected, on top off all this, preparations have to be made, for K (my bro's wife) will be delivering soon and so much remains yet to be done. She has been quite besides herself, making lists and ticking them off. It will be the first grandchild for my parents and all of us are naturally excited. Her due date was third week of June but today when she went to the hospital to get an ultrasound done, the doctor insisted that she be admitted straight away for monitoring and that she plans to do a C-section post Friday, anytime.
I am not the best planner in the world but I anticipate and prepare enough to be ready, not liking to do everything before hand or stretching myself to the utmost. I see it as a fault/laziness, which it is to an extent. However I realized today that life is about dealing with chaos and not making sure that everything goes according to the 'plan'.

I'm sooo tired, I just want to curl up in the bed with a good book and a nice hot cup of tea and then fall asleep but darn the power problem in this miserable state! I have so many emotions playing around in my head with this little one coming. Btw, my time on the net will be limited, so if I'm slack in commenting you know the reason. I am probably not feeling well ‘coz I am naturally not a low-energy person, maybe my throat infection is still not cured or maybe I am just feeling overwhelmed.

29 comments:

Misreflection said...

;) I like that- life is about dealing with choas, so right, but for some its dealing with choas in a planned way like myself :).. if that makes any sense to you. Anyway you sound so tired ,get some rest , take care..BTW having a new baby around is sure to cheer you up, its the best thing.

Jyotsna said...

Gulnaz,i can well understand how you feel.firstly hope you start feeling better and energetic soon..
Babies can change your world..they give us a lot of pure energy as well..despite the chaos all around.(well if the baby could talk he/she would say.."I didnt ask for the chaos..what is this fuss all about??"...
catch up on your rest :)
keep smiling

mermaid said...

I don't know how you guys do it back there in India. So many people over all the time. I love my family here, but when there's a constant barrage of people coming and going, I miss the solitude and quiet. I hope you get some quiet time before your niece/nephew arrives.

gulnaz said...

Missy, i really am feeling down :( thanks sweety for that verbal hug! *hugs you back* and well we all have our own personal tailored method of tackling madness.

Jyo, you are right, its not the baby its us and what a crazy lot we are turning into, hope he likes us...am so looking fwd to meeting him/her. :) i don't usually fall sick and when i do, it depresses me.

mermaidyes it can get a bit too much at times. :) I'm the sort of person who cannot be around ppl 24/7, i need time off to recharge and when i dont get it, it starts getting to me but i'll live! lol. i was too young when my kid brother was born and this brother (he is like my best freind) so its a bit of an emotional time for me.

Karthik L G said...

hi gulnaz,
first time commenting on ur blog..came thro a comment in mine

a lot of ppl i know r havin babies..:) ya thrs a lotta excitement anywhr to welcome the new membr..

weather seems perfectly fine .. just too good..

btw im very curious to know which is the 'miserable state' if u dont wanna make it public .. do goto my blog n mail me the ans to my id

venus said...

hey gulnaz, Ican understand your emotions, I am also not kind of a person who can deal with so manythings at once. I would also get overwhelmed in your situation. Just hang in there, for welcoming the new member in your extended family :)

NicoleBraganza said...

A new baby!! Aww, Gulnaz you are truly so so lucky! Especially when theres someone else to do the changing diapers and you can just play with the kid and stuff. Wish life was that simple ha? But just think of days ahead full of baby smell, chuckles and goo goo ga ga. Im sure all the exhaustion will slip away!

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

My bro just had a little girl, she's so sweet, I did wonder how I'd feel but its just like my own children really, there was all that love there just waiting for her. Love the poem below I had never heard of clenched souls but it makes perfect sense

Mirzaghalib said...

Very beautiful blog, Best wishes and good luck to your family for the new addition. May Allah(SWT)bless the child with all the best in the world.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

there is nothing planned about having a baby...thats for sure..you wait..your day will come..:-)...hope you get feelin better...

transience said...

aaawww, sweetie. i hope you feel better soon. i just came from the flu myself and i am still not entirely well. take care of yourself. we all look forward to more of your excellent writing when you're in tiptop shape.

*hugs*

Pecos Blue said...

I know we just met, but I am sending energy your way to help you get throught these exciting times--and remember your family has everything this new child needs--love and what a lucky child. Best wishes and thank you for visiting-

Jamie Dawn said...

I wish you good health and some good rest.
Welcoming a new baby will be such a joy to your whole family. Be sure and smell the baby's head after he/she is born. New babies smell soooo good. They are our most precious gifts.
I am different than you, in that I plan things in detail. I'm an organized person. It's just how I am.
Take care.

bablu said...

Exciting to have a new kid in the house. So you gonna be a aunty now. Cheers !

Neel said...

Sorry you are not feeling well, I hope you feel better very soon.

Carrie said...

make yourself a nice herbal tea and go for a 10 min walk....as for the prep work for baby to be....nothing you can do can prepare you for that journey, but enjoy it, and all the best to the mommy to be....health for baby and all that jazz. ;)

Lorena said...

i hope she has a safe delivery. good luck dealing with the stress and hopefully you get the rest you need. take care and drink lots of orange juice :)

Geetanjali said...

Hey all the best - I know what you mean in the last para....I felt the same most of the last two weeks, only I was pining for a cuppa hot coffee or nice hot soup, NOT made by me :-)
Once it settles down, then you too can enjoy and savour the feeling of being an aunt, specially if you're more into babies than I am ;-)
The crazy rush has just begun....as I told my bhabhi only Phase 1 of her Odyssey has been accomplished!

Geetanjali said...

PS I recently stumbled upon Neruda myself - the intensity and passion of his poems leaves me speechless!

gulnaz said...

Karthik, thanks for visiting, am from U.P. the state with max no. of MP's :)

Venus, thanks and yes am really moved by the idea of a new addition, the son of my brother!

Nicki, You bet! I am really looking fwd to being an aunt, I;m looking fwd to teaching the lil one all the naughty stuff, reading stories and playing wwf! lol

Sue, Congratulations on your lil niece! :) A freind has a lil baby daughter and she is an absolute doll!
doesnt clenced souls make all the sense in the world, in the world where we are all too aware of clenced teeth and clenched fists.

MirzaGhalib, thank you for your comment and best wishes! :) Come by again and hey I love Ghalib's poetry too, just don't understand the persian words though but i think he is amazing.
na tha koi tu khuda tha,
kuch na hota tu khuda hota.
doobaya mujh ko honey ney
na main hota tu kya hota.
uff! :)

Christina, lol, yeah...lol...hope i'll have oodles of patience by then. ;)

transience, hey that hug was warm and cuddly...here is one for you, too...*hugs* I hope you are feeling better now...I got some meds today for my throat.

Pecos Blue, thanks!!! :) kids are so precious, you being in the edu. dept. would know this best. Those that teach are truly deserving of all the praise they get.

Jamie, thanks! :) Yes I am going to smell his head the first thing i do when i hold him...ooh..the thought is making me smile. thanks Jamie. Its good to be organised, I am to an extent. ;)

bablu, yeah me is going to be Aunty Gulnaz now. lol.

Neel, hey that's so sweet of you. :)

Mitzee, thanks! herbal tea sounds mmmm....arent teas wonderful mitzee?...their aroma, their warmth, their cups, their delicate colour...aah! and hey come by again...thanks for commenting. :)

Lorena, another favourite, orange juice...you guys are making me want to go to the kitchen now! lol...thanks Lo! :)

Geetanjali, I know you have become an aunt recently, you would understand. you make almond cakes, you dont need to make coffee or soup. :):) Yes Neruda is beautiful and all that you say. :)

eden said...

i know how youre feeling right now!well just relax and hope verything will be fine for your sister in law and the baby!

congratulate her and to your parents for having the first grandchild in the family!

Joel said...

I did just curl up in bed and spent several hours there catching up on missed sleep.

Hope your disease departs you soon. I've had my share of nuisance bugs this winter and don't wish to see anyone suffering.

jonny ragel said...

ahhhh- lists and such. too bad caretaking can't just be good intentions and hugs. I'd be the king at that. but the devil's in the details. I know that- bright eyes says so.

hope things work out well for the little one. my sis had a C-section. the stitches were impressive. more importlantly you get a little baby and there is nothing better then that. not even baby ducks.

so be well etc.!

RahX said...

Awww, get better!~

anumita said...

Hey! Preparing for a baby is a beautiful thing!
But please rest before the baby comes cause later there will be too much of excitement all around!

Alex said...

I am also just curing my throat infection. It is almost gone. I can feel the easing of my throat more and more every morning. And that's good. Hope your's is gone now by now.

Your poetry tells my muse to get me a kick! Maybe I should start writing again... activate a part of mine which I have almost forgotten.

gulnaz said...

Eden, thanks love! :)

Joel, thanks...nothing more annoying than being sick to me. a good relaxing sleep, few things good enough to beat that! :)

johnny, yes shouldnt good intentions and hugs suffice. ;) lol...i remember we had ducks once for a few days when i was a kid and i remember chasing the poor things around the lawn with my brothers...the animal welfare ppl shd never hearabout this...we even tried holding eat by its wings...until we are shooed away by our parents. :)

RahX, thanks man. :)

anumita, it will be coming on friday!! :):)

Alex, In that case I hope my poetry packs in enough strengh in that kick, to wake up your muse. :) Would like to read your stuff.
i hate gargling probably that is why my throat is still sore and i hate when my voice gets bad. Thanks for commenting on my blog, hope to see you visiting again. :)

Roger Stevens said...

You'll enjoy the baby. There's something wonderful about the children of relatives. You can have hugs and fun and play with them which is brilliant - and then you can give them back.

gulnaz said...

RS, yea let the parents be the baddies. ;)