Wednesday, February 07, 2007

read between the lines


yeah tomorrow i won't be there.

(but how do i tell him, that he'll be there in the sharply drawn breath between long breathless conversations. how do i tell him that he will be there in the smile which will look back at me in the mirror. how do i tell him that he is there with me when i turn the lock closed on the bedroom door. how do i tell him that he will be there on my fingertips when i taste the sweetness of the cake batter. how do i tell you that you will be there when in my tightly closed fist when i burn those calories on the green. how do i tell you that it is you on these restlessly tapping fingers on this machine. how do i tell you that are the lilt in my laugher. how do i tell you that you are the merriness in my eyes. how do i tell him that he is my sweaty palms smoothing down my dress. how do i tell him that he is the noise in my head getting nothing done. how can i tell you all this, how can i tell you all this without breatking your heart...)

yes, tomorrow i won't be there.

i'm going on a holiday to see some freinds and i don't know if i will be able to continue blogging from there....i don't think i will be able to. i don't want this to sound like a farewell speech, i hate goodbyes!!!!

....take care each one of you!!!!


Sunday, February 04, 2007


As kids we worship our parents. there is nothing that daddy can't buy and there is no pain that mama cannont kiss away. Its funny how we go through these ups and downs with them, loving them, hating them, crying with them, crying for them, hugging them, running to them. Mom and Dad could always make everything all right, could transform the darkest night with a warm hug and the rightest words. Dad's laughter and Mom's pretty smile is the solace of every child and I don't think we ever completely outgrow that.

I thought that we turned into mature adults when we realise our parents are not heroes, that they have feet of clay. That is the time we realise their fallibility, their vulnerability and that they don't own the world. We feel all grown up and big when we understand this.

However we truly become mature when we realise their greatness, their worth and all that they have given us, they who are not heroes but mere mortals like us: trying their best, failing as often if not more than succeeding...trying to mold us after them, taking our resistance for disobedience, breaking their heart over a wrong choice, over words sharply lavish dinners, letting us sleep late and yet too shy to say we love you.

I realised that despite of being just ordinary folks they made for me and my brothers a warm nest. none of us come prepared in this world to become parents and no kid comes with a user's manual, they learned on the job and if they made a mistake they broke their lil hearts over it. to be this big person for this little child who looks upto you for every little thing must be an onerous task which no sane person would willingly take if it were not for the sheer love of the child....for the joy and pride that they take in their brood. no child is really as wonderful as his or her parents imagine them to be but they believe in us far more than we ever will.

God bless mine and all the mommas and all the daddies in the world.