Sunday, February 04, 2007


As kids we worship our parents. there is nothing that daddy can't buy and there is no pain that mama cannont kiss away. Its funny how we go through these ups and downs with them, loving them, hating them, crying with them, crying for them, hugging them, running to them. Mom and Dad could always make everything all right, could transform the darkest night with a warm hug and the rightest words. Dad's laughter and Mom's pretty smile is the solace of every child and I don't think we ever completely outgrow that.

I thought that we turned into mature adults when we realise our parents are not heroes, that they have feet of clay. That is the time we realise their fallibility, their vulnerability and that they don't own the world. We feel all grown up and big when we understand this.

However we truly become mature when we realise their greatness, their worth and all that they have given us, they who are not heroes but mere mortals like us: trying their best, failing as often if not more than succeeding...trying to mold us after them, taking our resistance for disobedience, breaking their heart over a wrong choice, over words sharply lavish dinners, letting us sleep late and yet too shy to say we love you.

I realised that despite of being just ordinary folks they made for me and my brothers a warm nest. none of us come prepared in this world to become parents and no kid comes with a user's manual, they learned on the job and if they made a mistake they broke their lil hearts over it. to be this big person for this little child who looks upto you for every little thing must be an onerous task which no sane person would willingly take if it were not for the sheer love of the child....for the joy and pride that they take in their brood. no child is really as wonderful as his or her parents imagine them to be but they believe in us far more than we ever will.

God bless mine and all the mommas and all the daddies in the world.


gel(Emerald Eyes) said...

Wipes away the tear in my eye-
I hope you share this loving post with your parents.

Pat Paulk said...

Ditto GEL!! Very well said!!

Anonymous said...

There is a saying: " you only truly appreciate your parents when you become one yourself" its been the most truest saying for me and yet you show this appreciation well ahead of time.... well done. :) somedays I could use more than a blessing but thanks all the same it certainly helps.

Anonymous said...

True gul, very true!
they are your greatest assets, your greatest strengths.
I will share here one of my most complete poems written some time back

ricocheting in
deep marrows of estrangement
pelted by insignificance
she lives; happily,
as dark
as shadows of vigilence,
draping the bright nudity of maternal simplicity;

expecting nothing,
dry eyes
reflecting acceptance
unconditional, unadultrated
in her humming conundrums

she says it all
both deserving and undeserving
acknowledging her
with words of indifference
with gifts of negligence

she forgives
she forgets

the agony ensues…

selfless love is all what they
have to offer!!

Cherie! said...

Lovely post G!

Anonymous said...

and yes, this selfess love is priceless and most beautiful gift of God!
Sorry for posting such a long remark here but it goes with the flow! and I am sure princess doesnt mind :)


Anonymous said...

I have been too sign my name ...

Hey this great of you to write such true and true to heart indeed words...I find it at times so hard with my dad who passed away...

You have been in my mind
Going to call you inshallah soon


mermaid said...

Yes. Yes. As a mother now, I see myself as a child again. I see both sides, and the strengths and weaknesses in both.

This is very thoughtful, and healing. Thank you, Gulnaz.

gulnaz said...

gel(emerald eyes): thank you...somehow i feel very awkward expressing myself verbally to them or for that matter anybody in person about how i truly feel. in person, i'm sort of awkward, kind of guarded. you are right, though, i'll find a way of saying, i love you to them, soon but i don't think i will be able to share this post with them. i'm strange, i think.

Pat Paulk: thank know one hears and reads about parents who are cruel or neglectful of their kids in some really bad ways and then you think about your parents who have tried their best inspite of their shortcomings and we all have shortcomings and
sometimes circumstances are such and to try inspite of everything is indeed commendable.

Anon- thank you anon and thank you for sharing your poem with me, it finds a resonance with me but which i did not have the courage to write about. thank you so much for it, its a beautiful poem! of course you can leave as many comments and i love longer comments. you are right, its a priceless gift but its also forgotten when its relevance recedes as we move along our lives.

Cherie- thanks girl! :)

Nasra- thank you for thinking about me...i will be travelling on thursday, i don't know how long i'll be away...will write to you.

the best part about parents is that they actually forgive us, in the unforgiving world, they are those few who do forgive us....your dad is in heaven, just pray for him. kisses!

mermaid- your child is lucky to have such a sensitive and evolved soul as her mother...and am so happy that you found this healing...thank you so much for that!

E said...

Purest form there is. Well written!

gulnaz said...

e- so true, so true!!
...thank you!!

Cocaine Jesus said...

you manage to keep this side of the awful american hollywood take on emtions and share something deeper than that.
parents are good and bad and sometimes indifferent. good to see you express your love for yours in such a matter of fact way.

gulnaz said...

cj- thanks CJ! I'm glad i was able to convey all that. if i'd have erred on the other side, i'd have been deeply embarrassed!!

i know what you mean, there are all kinds of parents and that is why i'm thankful to mine. i use to blame them earlier for not giving me enough freedom etc etc but i now realise that they did what they thought to be best, they are the products of their generation they have been bought up in a certain way, think a certain way but they are decent people who have tried their best with their kids and have give them all the love they had in they way they knew best. i love them and now when i see my freinds with kids i realise just how difficult it is to raise a child...i don't know if i have it in me. all the patience and the selfless love it takes...oh god! hats off to all parents and from your blog, CJ i know just how much you love your own daughters...its exactly that love that all kids need.

Amalendu said...

a truthful reflection...

gulnaz said...

amalendu- thank you!