Saturday, October 29, 2005

also of moon beams and lizards

i want to write about something light and frothy today, let me write about you. oh there i go again! the night air is sweet, the moonbeams are dancing in the courtyard, solitary dancers. why is my mouth bitter.

so many beautiful things perish without being celebrated or cherished. souls, sounds, sights, the unsung many. yet nature goes on creating these little moments of joy regardless of appreciation. is its supereme self-indulgence or is this a pointer to us, to create beauty in little ways. wearing the colour of sunsets always makes me feel beautiful

a lizard slithers down the wall and before it hits the bottom of the floor it leaps to the curtain across the wall, misses but in a moment is climbing the curtain again. it lives between these walls, its home. it never scares me. i always side step when an ant crosses, can never bring myself to kill it and yet i know if it hurts me i will.

the streets of love are in another town. the moon outside was eclipsed on an another night. james white plays in my head when i want to be happy yet i cant hear him today. his sweet baritone is as my mood when i want to be. U2 on the streets of newyork singing about you.

somedays are empty and some minds are so. on days like these and for minds like these is rambling and so i ramble. clothes of spun gold, cheerful and shiny like me but its not always so and i'm not always this dark but i let the ink spread on this space, a blot to drain my darkness.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


He said

I, imagine
Your breath
Sweet and scented
With mine

I imagine
Your fingers
Soft and supple
With mine

I imagine
Your lips
Slightly parted
For mine

I said
Sweet sir
Your imagination
Flows like the

But I’ll never
Be thine
So go and suckle
Pickled in

Fuchsia chiffon dress
Handkerchief hemline
Only for 55

Prada gloves
merely 55

Slim volume
Of 18th century verse
To be had for 55

With aromatic coffee
Just 55

Mobile recharge
Also available
For 55

Tickets to
Can be arranged
For 55

Rock to
At 55

Pretty woman
At Hour by 55

I will love you for reasons more than 55
I will love you in ways more than 55
I will love you for years more than 55, god willing, health permitting
But if you mess with me, I will undo you in ways far more than 55
Your pieces will swish with uncle Corleone’s fishes

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Its the month of Ramzan, the month for fasting, for controlling all evil desires and becoming a better person. The first meal of the day is before called Sehri (seh-ree), from the word Sehar (say-hur), arabic for dawn. The fast starts at the break of dawn. It is the most peaceful part of the day. I usually have something substantial, some carbs, and some proteins and wash it down with a nice cup of tea. I'm usually supping alone and I don't mind the solitude too much. There are households where the entire family is fasting and then its as noisy and wonderful as mealtimes with families usually are. My mother insisted on getting up and giving me company and fried eggs for a few days but I asked her not to, as its too much for her, she has plenty to do in the day and since she doesn’t fast due to poor health, I asked her to not disturb her sleep for me. Still, almost everyday around dawn she will sleepily come into my room asking me if I ate well and I wanted anything. My heart goes out to her. Such things only mums can do for you, its not easy reciprocating such stuff.
After Sehri, I say my prayers quickly, surf the net a bit perhaps and then try to go back to sleep which eludes me for the next couple of hours. In fact, I have become nocturnal, sleeping away a good part of the day.... not ideal and something which I am told takes away points from my fast but since I’m in a position to do it, so I do it...albeit with guilt.

.... Well that was just to give everybody an idea of what Sehri is.

Somtimes comfort is found in the unlikeliest of places. Silence usually harsh is something i welcome at certain times. Sounds of silence soothes my mind. Deep in the night in the distance car tires burn up tarmac, speeding away chased by dogs car spotting away the night. The hum and drone of appliances starting and stopping and starting again, the clock ticks by...the only sound disturbing. I turn over and think of his smile, a little boy's smile, disarming and absolute. It is a rare smile, its got gentleness and it stems from strength. God keep his smile. A smile that rings in morning no matter what the time of day.
Light at dawn
Steals the sky
From darkness

Monday, October 10, 2005


>>>>>>a torn kite

>>>>>>>>hangs by the wire

>>>>>>>>>>>>arrested flight or a happy ending?

Friday, October 07, 2005

beauty and the beast, a fairytale, a fable

ugliness and beauty float into each other
interchanging forms
and then back again.
you can never trust what you see.
beauty masked as a scar
or the scars left behind by beauty.
beauty and the beast are but one.
just a different side, just a different time.

Monday, October 03, 2005

strawberries and cream in a blender

music coursing through the body, heartbeats getting louder. baby move closer, its our turn tonight. feel my hips sway to your beat, let me close my eyes. take this world away tonight, dont let the sun rise on tomorrow. let this night be all there is. let us be all there is. we move apart, we come closer, you spin me around, oh baby my head's gone the way of my heart. i feel the music through you. i don't recognise you, you don't know me but you see the light in my heart and your hands will keep the winds away.

serenity i wrap around me, a cloak hiding the turmoil inside. will you hold me when it slips down my shoulders.... oh honey will you talk to me when i wake up in the middle of the night with nothing but darkness holding us together? when i scream, hold me down, if i run, wait for me. love will come for us with the sun. if you hold me i will make your dreams come true. i am not sweet as you my angel and i will scratch till you bleed but i will be there licking your wounds and i will make you a love sweeter than wine. oh baby let me be your girl tonight...not just tonight but for all the nights to come.

like little bits of torn paper caught in the backstream of a fast moving car, bits of words twirl before my eyes faster than i can voice them. like the sky turning pink at the coming of dusk, my thought turn pinkish at the thought of you. you who are not there, you who are only in my mind.

...thoughts the shade of crushed strawberries in cream