Friday, August 28, 2009

hurt

i want you to apologise for this asphyxiating silence

but of course you shall never read these words. i was waiting for roots to grow, watching too keenly like a hawk, circling above, an eye out for each shoot, each new leaf, a new comment, a fresh look; reading and re-reading notes.

and....

night falls silently
i fold up my thoughts
tuck them under my pillow
a quiet hurt
which is not quite loneliness
but...

but which even i don't understand.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

words or none

and when you do sit down to say your piece, words suddenly turn strangers, shrug their shoulders and walk away. you are left staring at them, beseeching them, please come back, you little Rumpelstiltskins, this is when i need you but no they are gone and you are here, you and now; darling if you really meant it, it will come through wordlessly perfect.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

sunstroke

gotta get some love to go; don't spill, keep it covered;
run fast and get over here;
let the music burn in your mind
and let those feet fly and take you high;
higher and higher;
you run and the sun is a distant memory now.
spare parts will be found on the way;
don't you worry i can always put you together
and shimmy my way through this.

Monday, August 03, 2009

i look for you under the sun stabbed sky...

i shut down the noise filtering in my ears. there is nothing i can do about it. i zone out. i drift away. there is a place i need to be, far away from everywhere i know but how do i find my way to there? the answers will come, they are easy but its the questions which are tricky. close your eyes to what you don't want to see and let it all fit how you want yourself to be. i change. i grow. i am not the person i used to be anymore. i see shades of my older self in people i knew back then but the disconnect has deepened and i don't even feel like closing the chasm. i care less and less about what you might think perhaps because you don't care enough anyways or maybe I don't.

In my mind i walk through the open spaces under a sky as pale as the grains of sand which stick to my brown ankles. distance ...just endless distance from everywhere. only the sound of the sighing wind whispering in my ears of an ancient need, of a timeless search. somethings don't come with a time stamp and somethings remain with us forever. i look for you in this vast nowhere and maybe this is how i reclaim my lost self.

under the sun stabbed sky runs a river deep below and before i am through I will drink from it. sun shine pierces the darkest of hearts but are you ready to see all that it reveals? how do i describe the sweetness of sand and how do i tell you that to be soundless, scared and still like a bloom in perpetuity is not what i want.

i look for you under that sun stabbed sky. i strain to hear your name on that wandering minstrel's song. the night comes at last and tonight i will search for you in my dreams and we will wash ourselves from the waters of that river.