Friday, August 28, 2009

hurt

i want you to apologise for this asphyxiating silence

but of course you shall never read these words. i was waiting for roots to grow, watching too keenly like a hawk, circling above, an eye out for each shoot, each new leaf, a new comment, a fresh look; reading and re-reading notes.

and....

night falls silently
i fold up my thoughts
tuck them under my pillow
a quiet hurt
which is not quite loneliness
but...

but which even i don't understand.

9 comments:

Devika said...

But i understand that, i guess :)

nice writing, not to say

btw, Gulnaz, soulmate, you don't seem to acknowledge my comments -- chakkar kya hein??

guess its the child in you :)

wishes,
devika

gulnaz said...

devi- i always welcome and acknowledge your comments, why do you say that sweeties.... sometimes the most fitting response is a smile and a wink because there is nothing to be said further... i am very happy that you follow my writings and take interest and thanks for telling me about that flower, i read on magyar's blog yesterday but .... u know often i read without commenting ... one of the reasons i blog is i am not so good with direct conversation, i guess... for me its an outlet of emotions... please meri kisi baat ka bura laga ho, tu maaf karna :)

:)

Devika said...

hey hey hey, kya bath kar rahe ho? maaf friends ke beech mein?

i just felt so about the last two posts...but then you know I am a 'shameless' friend...if I am friend, and tell what I feel straight....and more often i've felt that it helps, than to carry things in my head...

selfish may be, at the end of the day i want my peace and sleep back :)

wishes,
devika

Janice Thomson said...

Such words Gulnaz - this really pulls at the heartstrings. It is difficult when one gives all with no reciprocation. Love the honesty of the emotions in this.

gulnaz said...

Thank you Janice! :)

Magyar said...

>Folded thoughts, tucked under my pillow, even I don't understand.<
_Your lines; often I "sleep on it," and have another look at my thoughts "in a new days light," with hopes that then, I may understand my thoughts... flying through my mind like bugs in a storm.

_m

gulnaz said...

'like bugs in a storm' - wow!!! :))

am happy you come by

anoant said...

Those of us whose sensitivities are not well suited to the clamoring cocaphony of the crowd read this and can immediatly sympathize.
There is with writing an outside validation requirement.
Writing must be read right? :)
We judge ourselves by the input we recieve from our readers.
I for one believe that your writing is wonderfully full of sensation. Keep going.
peace

Imran said...

Good to share but I dont think this brings us any relief in pain Gulnaz ? doest it!!