Saturday, September 03, 2005

falling

in the darkness
of your eyes
i search for light
the night presses me down
pushing me
under
lower
still
i slip
nails grasping flesh
my fall broken
by a promise kept.
searching for light
in the darkness
of your eyes

48 comments:

Jyotsna said...

"my fall broken
by a promise kept"..not just these lines but all of this piece reveals our constant search for that something....eternal i would call it!
Am coming by after a while..Hope all is well with you!

Moon said...

I LOVE the way you manage words about life!
sometimes it's like you "read my mind"
i love this sensation :-)

gulnaz said...

thanks jyo! it is about that search....
am good and glad to see you, i hope you are doing fine! :)

Anil said...

ah, what an interesting contrast to what I had put up! both poems are like mirror images...nice...

gulnaz said...

Anil- my sentiments exactly! :) thanks!

Moon- well, its wonderful that i am able to do that....thanks!!! :)

Pallavi said...

Ahh beautifull.. love the last line..

feminine expressions said...

you take my breath away! i, too, love the lines "my fall broken by a promise kept..."
i am delighted to read you and must link you to my site so i can find you easily every day...

Lorena said...

i can relate to this poem. how we hold on amidst uncertainty. and then hope finds its way
"my fall broken
by a promise kept."

beautiful poem gulnaz :)

Potted-flower said...

'Pushing me
under'.

I can relate.

Russell Ragsdale said...

You have got it exactly right! The sense of floating or falling that passion causes countered by the constant fear of another coupled with the relief that comes when you find out the promise is kept! Wow, now were truely talking about some awesome talent! You took me here! Way to be Gulnaz!

Bonatellis said...

hmmmm

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Hi to you too, love this particularly the way you've broken it up. on the outside looking in.

Cocaine Jesus said...

ditto what sue said. intelligent and thoughtful.

johnny boy said...

Very nice! You certainly know to play around with words... Now thts a talent! Any plans of making it big? I would say, go for it!!!
When i read this piece, i get a different perception everytime.. Thts cool...
Impressive post gulnaz, really...

Tomas said...

ouch..... keep searching, but sometimes it's not there... and the fault lies in the one who won't just let go.......

. : A : . said...

Very nice flow to this poem.

Particularly liked the lines,

"my fall broken
by a promise kept."

Me said...

very nice poem Gulnaaz....

finnegan said...

anillina______gulnazzanlug

gulnazzanlug______anillina

amirrorimageegamirorrima

Something sacrificial in this poem Gulnaz---especially:
i slip
nails grasping flesh
my fall broken
by a promise kept.


Verification Word= finnegannagennif

Akruti said...

Beautiful lines gul.....specially "Searching for light in the darkness of your eyes"

finnegan said...

Reading the lines:

It turned on its axes
And spewed darkness


I wondered about your use of "axes", which is either the plural of axis ~ an imaginary line about which something rotates, or the plural of ax/axe ~ a real object that is swung...from an axis.

Since the first choice is a subject/verb disagreement, I inverted my axis and found the convoluted symmetry of the second choice.

V.W: znilm

NicoleBraganza said...

this is beautiful, soulful.

Carrie said...

I really like the fear in this one....made me anxious. very nicely done.

superflywebpimp said...

you have been added to my links.

Misreflection said...

in the darkness
of your eyes
i search for light
Gs.. somehow these three lines are the most "romantic" for me.. with deeper meanings too than meets the eye.

Pecos Blue said...

Gulanz--I have been to India once and we were mainly in the south Kerela and in Karnataka state at the base of the western Ghats. It was really pretty. I really enjoyed Halebid and Belur. I did not know about deserts though--is that north? Where do you live?

mermaid said...

"my fall broken
by a promise kept"

I can see you suspended in someones gaze, as if their eyes are enough to hold you.

Beautiful.

Jamie Dawn said...

Falling is part of life.
Having someone near to break your fall is part of love.
I wish everyone someone to love and who loves them.

Mridula said...

Gulnaz, I enjoy your poetry so much. You express so much in so few words.

transience said...

i love the flowing sensuality of it all. like the words scooping me up and dropping me, and me falling comfortably on a sea of clouds. bravo, gulnaz!

Samudraa said...

light in the darkness of ur eyes!Profound and beautiful.

"Fall broken by a promise kept" ....sounds so heartfelt.

Haven't been here for a while,seemed to have missed out on quite some stuff :)

gulnaz said...

Pallavi- thanks! :)

feminine expressions- thank you so much! ...will add you to my links as well....i enjoyed your writings. :)

Lorena- yes, that is what i think too. :)

Pf- i can imagine. :)

Russell- am overwhelmed by your praise!! :)) thanks!

Bonatellis- ......nice thoughts? :)

Sue- the breaks were dictated by the words, seemed neccesary. glad you think you so too. :)

CJ- thanks! i learn from the people i read, you being one of them. :)

johnny boy- you are one sweet boy! love you for saying that! thanks!

Tomas- you are right, there is no ownership in such things.

.:A:. - glad that you think so! :)

Avik- thanks Avik!

finn- lol, that was clever....my mirror image with anil there. :)
sacrifice, isnt that about surrendering and isnt love about surrendering, oh well what do i know!
finnegannagennif = finnegan and his fine mirror image. :)

Akruti- the search for light is a primal need in all of us, i think. thanks dearie.

finn again - oopsie-daisy, wrong window, finn. :)

Nicole- good to see you girl! hope you are doing fine, and thanks! ;)

Mitzee- thanks mitz! u made me think with your comment. thanks. :)

superflywebpimp- thanks!

Missy- gee thanks! :) ah! well, i am such an incorrigible romantic... i'm constantly searching for light. :)

Pecos Blue- South Kerela and Karnataka are beautiful states! i have not been lucky enough to visit them but hope to some day. I am sure you must have had a lovely time there. :)
the desert is in Rajasthan cheifly. this state is central almost. its close to Delhi. If you have heard of Jaipur, Jaiselmer etc, these cities are in Rajastan. again, never been there but.... :) i live close to Delhi. sorry for not naming the city here, not a good idea, will email you.

Mermaid- ah your comment makes me dream! :) thanks darling!!

Jamie- that is a wonderful wish to wish for! :)

Mridula- you are too kind to me....am deeply touched!

Trans- Thanks sweetie! your comment is poetry in intself!! so delightful!
:))

Samudraa- yeah i noticed your abscence....glad you enjoyed my stuff, thanks!

Gama said...

Brilliant!!! a few words but with so much power... I love it :-)

gulnaz said...

Gama- thanks....am so very touched that you think so! :)

anumita said...

Very very intense! Lovely.

Geetanjali said...

Sensuously dark - depressing isn't it how a relationship that should be libreating can become the reason for suffocation and eventual defeat?

finnegan said...

Your name is now word-verified as "ZANLUG" in my lexicon of dreams.

The more prosaic one would be: ZNFEU which at least has
the decency to include a "Z" "N" and "U" in it.

just sayin' said...

this makes my lip quiver.

Pecos Blue said...

Yea, I did not think about that. Good thing you did not mention that. Thank you

Paul M. Martin said...

Must have taken some work to get that right. It reads simply, but has a lot going on word-wise as well as with the images. Nice.

jenn see said...

i would so much more enjoy the arbitrary poetry if visiting your blog didn't toss pop-up window nasty things all over my pc.

yvaine said...

Can the darkness save her? I hope so.

Beautiful one.

Pincushion said...

my fall broken by a promise kept...

Isn't she lucky! the promise was kept!
And nothing makes my heart more glad :)

Thanks dear for being there through out my ordeal..through your messages..it meant the world to me!
God bless..

gulnaz said...

Anumita- thanks! it was a prayer.

Geetanali- interesting pov. :) my moods are quite inky currently. ;)

finn- remember turning my name upside down as a kid...funny u shd bring it up now. :)
zenfu...now doesnt that sound like food which promotes the zen state of mind. ;)

Morgan- am touched! thank u.

Pecos blue- no problem honey! :)

Paul- thanks for the appreciation, feels nice! :)

Jenn See- oh! i am sorry!!! maybe u shd try blocking pop-ups on your computer.

yvaine- good to see you!
and maybe the darkness will force her to look for her own light. i hope she finds her own light....that is the only one which stays.

Pinzi- those lines are hope, its a prayer. hey!! dont be silly now! hugs! and thanks!

stan laurel said...

This almost seems to be violent. Strange how I get that impression when I read the lines:

pushing me
under
lower
still
i slip
nails grasping flesh


Amazing how we all get different impressions.

small squirrel said...

I can only echo the sentiments already expressed. for sure the lines "my fall broken by a promise kept" are exceptional... and somewheat cryptic... this is all a mystery :)

gulnaz said...

stan- there is violence in being suppressed, you are right.

small squirrel- :) lets keep that way then. :) thanks.

Jaxe said...

in the darkness
of your eyes


That is like an epic poem inside the poem itself. So open ended, so full of images personal and separate to each of us...Thanks for mesmerizing me with your words Gulnaz, I needed that! :-)

gulnaz said...

Jaxe- thanks! you really are very sweet and encouraging! :)