Wednesday, August 03, 2005

tattered

come to me. walk away with me. its getting harder to walk alone.

i'm the cracked earth at your feet,
the moon at your window,
the howling wind.

i'm broken at sundown,
dissolving in darkness,
melting in your tears.

if only, i could ask you to come away with me.

Will I be true or will my words be like the rest, fine and fallow?
Lay your hand on my heart. Look into my face. Tell me what you see.

I'm afraid to make promises. I have seen love die young.
When it dies there aint nothing you can do but just give it a decent burial.

the forever they talk about, i have been searching all my life. if love has a shelf life then why does it not say so on the bottle. songs of love lasting a lifetime are plenty but then why do these words sound like lies?

Still baby, tell me some lies tonight. these words will come true if you believe them. This heart might shine like gold, yet.

come to me. walk away with me. its getting harder to walk alone.

46 comments:

. : A : . said...

Very poignant! These lines capture the essence.

"Still baby, tell me some lies tonight. these words will come true if you believe them. This heart might shine like gold, yet."

Yours Truly...Conman said...

woho... awesome...
bloody hell...
This is good.
I don't get one thing though. Is this just about poetry. I mean people comment on the poetry, copy and paste your lines on the comments box and then tell you what they thought about them. Some sorta poetry review kinda thing? If that then..."if love has a shelf life then why does it not say so on the bottle..." man i flipped on this line.
On the other hand, if this is how you truly feel and this is not just an 'act of poetry', then you might as well say this to the person you wanna walk away with...
Don't you think?

the woman said...

God, that was simply beautiful.

You captured it so well. Whoosh... I like!

Yours Truly...Conman said...

And if he doesn't wanna walk away with you, then wait around for someone else who might be intersted in the walk.
Damn man, I don't intend to sound rude...
I really mean it. hope you take it in the right way.

. : A : . said...

I also forgot to mention that I like the style of mixing poetry with prose.

transience said...

still baby, tell me some lies tonight.

a beautiful woman, a sensual soul. you made that sound so tenderly perfect.

Akruti said...

"Kehte hain pyar ka rishta hai janam ka rishta,hai janam ka ye rishta tho badaltha kyon hai"
that was the line i remembered when i read "I'm afraid to make promises. I have seen love die young"

finnegan said...

I have to agree with Conman on this one. That's my favorite line as well.

Misreflection said...

Fine piece of work GS, not only the style, the content as well, love and lies, false promises , shelf life.. all go together it seems.. But you said it...its what people want to hear.. and I have to add its what makes them human too I guess. :).. Its a never ending story...What facinates me are those professing to not wanting or needing love as you describe it.. Personally I can't live a day with out it.. :) :)

Lorena said...

loneliness has a voice hear and i can relate. i agree w/transience on that line as well.

"love has a shelf life then why does it not say so on the bottle."
what would we do if we did know??
this post really brings with it alot to reflect on.

i love it. it speaks volumes for me.

i hope this person walks away with you soon :) so that this love can begin to bloom.

M said...

Oh yes, it IS bloody hard to walk alone...

Great post..as usual..:)

mermaid said...

"i'm the cracked earth at your feet"

I got the image of you under this person's dry, cracked feet...clever.

"When it dies there aint nothing you can do but just give it a decent burial"

Never thought of it like this, but I suppose one must say good-bye to everything. I've tried the message in the bottle bit, or tying a message to a balloon and releasing it to the sky. Helps me feel like someone somewhere is listening.

Always love the way you create new ways of looking at things.

deewani said...

Great post Gulnaz :-) I can so relate to these words. Love songs do last much much longer than love itself.

"Come away with me and we’ll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I’ll never stop loving you"
-Norah Jones

Russell Ragsdale said...

Beautiful prose and poem combination. It polished my heart and made it shine like gold. Put your little hand in mine, I don't need to be told where we are going.

Itineranting said...

Simple truths, a realization of reality lies hidden within folds of the myriad wants of the heart...sure hope you get what makes you happy..one way or the other..

iamnasra said...

I enjoyed reading this one...It so different from your past poetry write up...You have shown a different side of your writing...well done for trying to explore new themes of poetic writing..

As for my request..Im sure its not an easy task..take your time to explore and Im sure the final product will not amaze me but many who will be able to read it (inshallah)..

Carrie said...

you are such a gracious lily among so many thorns. lovely.

Joel said...

I loved it....

Vasu the terrible said...

Love Sigh..

kithno hue shikar ?? (how many have fallen prey ??)

vasu

PHPEXPERT said...

This is good!
Great post!

gulnaz said...

A, my knowledge of both poetry and prose is basically instinctive and inspired from what little i have read. somethings seem right in certain forms and i like mixing things up, if they will look good. :)
am so thrilled you liked it.:)

YTC, i don't mind your concern at all. :) sometimes i write more of desire than any actual event. everything is all mixed up, really. :) so glad you liked it though so.

Woman, thanks baby! :)

finnegan, you liked it only one line, boohoohoo!

transience, praise from a goddess, not worthy, not worthy, hehe :)

Akruti, lovely lines sweetie, where had you disappeared?

missy, yes, sometimes it seems honesty is over-rated. :) waiting to hear your news. :)

Lorena, i knew you'd relate to it! thanks girlfreind! :)

M, hope you won't have to be walking alone for long, wait for the moon, the moon has its seasons you know.:)

mermaid, i hate goodbyes but sometimes the decision is foregone. i am so glad you think i can create fresh ways of looking at things, if its true, then its great!!! :) thanks

Deewani, i love norah jones!!! thanks dee for the appreciation. :)

Russell, I am honestly lost for words here! :)

Itinerating, welcome aboard and i hope to see you again, i'm enjoying your comments. :)

nasra, i rarely think about it before hand, i guess we all have various sides. I'm trying to be brave and not feel awkward about revealing different sides.

Mitzee, have got a silly wide grin, on reading your comment, causing amusemt to the guy sitting next to me, in this cafe, hehe. :)
thank! :)

Joel, where have u been? honestly have been concerned for you, your url changed too, i think. am glad you liked it so!:)

Vasu, none, *chuckles* it sounds like kitney admi they sambha, lol, u have made me into sambha. :)

Typo3hosting, thanks and i make lots of typos too. :)
please visit again, i think typos are fun.:)

Misreflection said...

You're the first to know , I got the job, its not being relocated, bra paid off .. pretty pleased, you were right first time:).. Now its going to be more than hectic here, also going on leave in sept.. Will blog over weekend to thank others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. See I'll never let you down:)

Mridula said...

Love, I guess it just happens.

Patry Francis said...

I like the juxtaposition of the "poetic" and the earthy language.

Jaxe said...

Gulnaz, this is so hauntingly romantic. I love the feeling of escaping with another... I feel that every second of every day... "let's just run away, be mine forever in this vacuum of time." Alas, it can't happen, but poet's can dream, eh? Thank you for sharing this, its very intimate!

*hugs*

j

finnegan said...

Oh Gulnaz, I said my favorite line! You must realize I'm speaking comparatively.
If there's any boo-hoo-ing to be done, remember that you decided torefrainfrom
commenting on my recent dream---aside from saying you liked my last
line about the dust bunnies. Boooohoooo! (:-ยบ
Big octopus hugs all over you anyway Gulnaz, hehe.

Neel said...

so beautiful, i was walking with you.

Mridula said...

Love, I guess it just happens for some? And sometimes you have to let it happen.

Samudraa said...

ppl have said all that i thought of saying....making my comment feel redundant.

Very passionate one,gul.

loved the 'melting in ur tears'.
the 'seen love die young'
the 'forever u talk about'
and ofcourse 'still baby" (it has so many shades to it)

Aesthetic expression of how we seek permanence in our love..

gulnaz said...

Missy, i am so happy for you darling and am honoured that i'm the first to know!! :))
this kind of hectic is good, hope you will be blogging at least intermittently. yes, you are the kind to try your best!

Mridula, yep or not happens. :)

Patry, *blushing* thanks!

Jaxe, am glad you appreciate it so and yep what's the harm in dreaming...:) i'm trying to be strong enough to reveal intimate thoughts, to reveal more of myself. hugs. :)

finnegan, hehee am sorrry finn!! fishy hugs to you too! :)) btw, i am a very shy person. :)

Neel, the exercise must have done you good, i hope you didnt exert yourself too much, hehe. :) just kidding, thanks a lot!

Mridula, that is a thought to ponder over! hmmm..............
:)

Samudraa, nooo your comments are never redundant! isnt it funny nothing is permanent! :)

Neel said...

I just read this again, and these lyrics came to mind:

I have a picture,
pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, Tattered and Torn. We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn

You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfrct world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away
But you know that theres no where that I'd rather be than with you here
today


You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore
and then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm
asking it for

stan laurel said...

I like how honest you are being in this piece. You are very clear about what you want and you simply state it...no pretenses. This is the way we all should communicate.

gulnaz said...

Neel again, thanks!! those lyrics are beautiful!! did you write them yourself?

Stan laurel, thanks but it isnt always easy being honest. :)

Perfect Virgo said...

Maybe that's what it all comes down to Gulnaz, "tell me some lies tonight." A sensitive soul finds it so hard to accept that love and life are full of compromises, some of epic proportions.

I was reading your post when your comment to me arrived, what a coincidence.

gulnaz said...

Perfect Virgo, so true...:)
its a nice coincidence, :) and i hope you visit again.

Samudraa said...

The truest of truths!The most valueble people,situations,emotions are transcient....

Cocaine Jesus said...

excellent piece. deeply moving but remember. . .
"hold out your hands and you are not alone,
just turn on with me and you are not alone"

gulnaz said...

Samudraa, knowing so doesnt make it easier to accept it. does it?

Cj, thank you and thanks also for adding those comforting lines. where are they from?

yvaine said...

Would you rather be lonely with someone than be lonely by yourself?

Redundance, baah.

I love this entry of yours.

Vasu the terrible said...

apple pathways and ramgad pathways... not much different... :D

vasu

gulnaz said...

Yvaine, thanks and its good to see you again! :) being lonely in a relationship has to be worse, so its not too bad being alone. :)

Vasu, lol! btw, sholay is being remade and the guy who is going to play amitabh's part looks really nice. :)

Perfect Virgo said...

"Rock 'n' Roll Suicide" - David Bowie (Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars - July 1972) Nice quote CJ. {sorry for the backroom banter Gulnaz!}

gulnaz said...

PV, backroom banter is such fun, i love it! :)
thanks for the info on the quote too. :)

anumita said...

So poignant and beautiful. I am sure all the men reading this are racing to walk with you. I am too, actually.

Pallavi said...

oh but you are not alone :) ... and waiting is the time for you... for there is another flower of love waiting to bloom ... wait for a surprise.. life always brings that... leave the past and look to the present and make your future.. or you will forever feel alone...

indigo said...

love will come. maybe when you least expect it. or from where you least expect it.

open yourself to the possibility of love but don't seek it out. zen-like, perhaps.