Monday, July 18, 2005

on attraction

Is there any feeling more subtle, more delicate, more intoxicating and more delicious than the feeling of being attracted to somebody? I doubt it. Whether one chooses to act upon it or not, that is not the point. It may not always be wise to act upon such feelings and acting upon them might even break the spell sometimes.

However, just pause, consider and relish in your mind, how your body feels, your mind too the time when find yourself drawn irresistibly towards this other person. It is almost as transient as scent and as inexplicable too. Fragrance, leaves its traces on you that are there yet not quite; like a half-revealed secret, tantalizing. For somebody like me, who would rarely act upon such feelings, it has got an even more piquant taste to it.

There is a certain tiny fuchsia flower, which use to grow in my lawn in little pots. It had dark green leaves and its petals were very soft as petals will be. For some reason, I use to love rubbing the petals of this tiny flower between my fingers, and they would leave a faint pinkish stain on them. I would furtively rub that stain on my lips. Damn, Ma should have allowed me to wear lipstick much sooner. It was not as if it would colour my lips even slightly but still I liked my lips to be imbued with the grassy, slightly bitter taste of that flower, which only I knew was there on my lips.

Like a stain it leaves its marks on you, the telltale signs.

52 comments:

venus said...

awww poor baby!
I rather perceive you as more emotional than you mention here. Or may be it's just in your words here. how old were u then? I'm just curious :)

Ash said...

Cute. And sensual.
Heady combo !
:)

Cruel Angel said...

Gulnaz, your way with words continues to impress. Though normally I tend to avoid such feelings, your words painted a vivid picture of those memories. Perhaps I should seek out such feelings more often. Regardless of what I should or shouldn't do with this lesson, thank you for bringing it to light.

Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the would...

angel-A said...

"Is there any feeling more subtle, more delicate, more intoxicating and more delicious than the feeling of being attracted to somebody?" - so beautifully and precisely expressed, this is what i am able to feel, but not to express...i'd think this is a feeling which is unspeakable, but you did it!

"It may not always be wise to act upon such feelings and acting upon them might even break the spell sometimes." where your wisdom comes from, gulnaz? this is what i've known always but learned only recently... not to break the spell of attraction by acting.

thoughts said...

...well butterflies in ur stomach.. thinking ten times just to say hello ... thinking twice before every action ...and confidence all down the drain...i can go and on with this list :)

mermaid said...

This reminds me of those feelings all over again, Gulnaz. Especially loved the description of the petals against the lips.

Attraction can be to several people, to their appearance, their voice, their talent. Acting on it can be dangerous, but letting yourself revel in it's beauty is pure heaven.

Misreflection said...

Beautifully put GS, personally I believe SOMETIMES its best to live within the realms of your imagination. Thats the only place life can be picture perfect and the " "spell" can only be broken by choice not reality..and of course that feeling you descibe can then live a much longer life.. :)

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

I had a friend when I was younger, we were just friends it was an unspoken agreement, but I knew I felt so much more. He made me feel like sunshine, just to sit silently beside him was so special. I often wondered what would have happened if I'd had more courage. He came to my wedding and I love my husband and soul-mate dearly but I do sometimes wonder.

I also remember rubbing smarties on my lips for just the same reason and going to my friend's house (she was allowd makeup) putting lots on, then washing it off before returning home.

the rain bard said...

Just reached here by hitting the 'next blog' button. you're a poet at heart. nice blog.

sal said...

This is just beautiful.

And I'm attracted to you... woop, I mean, attracted to your blog. *winks*

rajesh said...

There is so much truth in the first half of the post.

The last words brought a smile to my face. :)

Good work, Gul

GratisGab said...

How can you not act upon the feeling? You come across somebody who is very much in touch with your sensuality...and yet, it stains you, but you don't act on it...I wonder why...

Nicely written.

Lorena said...

wait, what is wrong with acting on attraction? i think it could only get sweeter from there. i do agree that being in a state of desire is delicious but staying there too long can be frustrating.
i love how you wrote this. very sultry, sensual. and that little secret on your lips, how sweet :)

love this post, especially for the topic. some spells aren't meant to be broken i guess.

angel-A said...

possibly it depends on "acting" and what meaning one assigns to it... for me acting is always something rational, out of head, while attraction has irrational origins...so ...mixing them spoils the spell. that's it.

mermaid said better: letting yourself reveal in its (attraction) beauty is pure heaven...

transience said...

you've captured the feeling in your own special bubble of poetry-prose.

Normies said...

That was such a beautifull entery!!

So strange of what the power of a crush can have on someone. =)

thx for stopping by my blog.

nin said...

cute.....fuchsia flowers are fascinating...
all the best....

Patry Francis said...

Sometimes to act on an attraction would be hurtful to someone else--or even to yourself so you don't. But still you savor the feelings.

Lovely writing. Lovely Gulnaz.

bablu said...

Nice post.

Heh Heh said...

nice, and true.. came here from desipundit.

Geetanjali said...

Sensuous and sensual - And very very eloquent too! :-)

anumita said...

This is beautifully captured again.
So graphic! So raw! The whole post has this feeling of indulging in forbidden delights.

Samudraa said...

"Like a stain it leaves its marks on you, the telltale signs."

This one touched me gul....:)

Beauitfully metaphorical....re-read it sum 4times.I luv that sentence.

Sk8RN said...

How incredibly erotic and tantalizing! This may be my favorite post of yours yet!

gulnaz said...

Venus, *chuckles* i must have been 10 or 11. :) me, emotional? maybe. ;)

Ash, sounds like the latest delight in shoest at your fashion store nearby. lol...thanks sweetie! Thanks for the mention at desipundit, am flattered! :) i just checked it out and for all those who are reading this, its a good index blog for indian blogs.

Cruel Angel, I was thinking that you should be back now, i hope you are doing good. you can't seek out feelings, can you...i like that line you have left here....its like coming across a pretty stone by the river.

Angel-A, it happens to me too, someone else says the very thing i have been grappling with in my head and so i am glad i did it for you. :))
am i wise? ;)

thoughts, lol, you have got quite an accurate list there. :)

mermaid, thanks! i am so glad you liked it. That is the one thing one must know when to act and when not to act upon such things.

Missy, somethings look good only inside one's head. glad you liked it, waiting for you to write you know i love the funny-smart way you have of putting things.

Suemade you feel like sunshine! wow!! its like wondering abuot alternate lives but the good thing is that the one you have is the one that counts. It must be wonderful to have a soul-mate for a husband, god bless both of you.
lol@the smarties. :)

the rain bard, so one never knows what the 'next blog' will bring...hmm. :) thanks for stopping and commenting, hope you come by again. :)

woman, really!! am flattered! :))

Rajesh, putting a smile on somebody's face feels nice. :)

GratisGab, I am glad you came by and that you liked it. do come by again. :)

Lorena, it could get sweeter but what if it leaves a bitter-after taste in the mouth. bah! i know i'm a scaredy-cat. :)

angel-A, great i like the way you have analysed it here. one has got to be clear about what one is doing and why. mermaid does it say beautifully. :) visit her blog, she writes well too.

transience, this one bubble is shimmery and catching the colours of the sun.

Normies, thanks and thanks too for stopping by. :)

Avik, you have got such a cute av!! thanks for stopping by. :)

Patry, yes there is no harm in savoring the feeling. :) thank you for appreciating!! :)

bablu, long time no see. :)

fingeek, thanks, glad you came by. :)

Geetanjali, ;) glad you think so. :)

anumita, thank you!! sometimes you just have to indulge yourself...at least enough to go on. :)

Samudraa, I am so glad that you liked it...i like it too. :) thank you.

Sk8RN, thank you!! ;)

Vasu the terrible said...

hey gulnaz,

damm you man.. you are a mind reader.. do you know me by chance ? has someone snitched about my life to you ?

you stole my thoughts and published them..

anyway thats the best way it could have been published. you have a way with thoughts..

Pallavi said...

Its all about chemistry and physics of the human mind... LOLOL...

Shaima said...

what a truly beautiful post.

mermaid said...

Hey Lorena,

I just read your comment. I think acting on attraction can be dangerous when you hurt the one you're with. I was famous for sending flowers and poems to guys in HS and college. I scared most of them away, until my husband came along. He was totally worth it!

stella said...

my first comment went away, but reading this again, i am reminded of a lotion i have called sensuality (ylang ylang + myrrh) .

they seem to have the same effect on me ... :)

Chiquita Banana said...

I have to agree with your definition of attraction. What a stunning feeling, yet sometimes, acting upon it takes away from it. Something about not being able to act on it makes it all the more intoxicating. Great stuff.

Lorena said...

hi mermaid, i guess i'm so use to thinking in terms of myself (single) and so therefore me acting on desire would be ok since i wouldn't be hurting anyone.
oh how sweet, you sending flowers and poems, their loss! but of course you found him now so it all works out. :)
hope you don't mind gulnaz. :)

DeeM said...

Gulnaz, I must say there's always something about your posts that feel so melodic to me. I like to think of it as accoustic writing. and so poignant too. you are a writer, girl. :)

gulnaz said...

Vasu, hehe, of course i'm a mind-reader, sounds like a bit of vouyer there. :)

Pallavi, yes those little molecules of hormones going about their business totally unconcerned with reality. :)

Shaima, what a pretty name! thanks for dropping by, am glad you liked it. :)

Mermaid, you sending flowers and poems, now that;s a surprise. :)
your meeting your husband proves that it makes sense being the person you are and not geting pressured into someone else.

Stella, wow! you have used such a lovely metaphor here, makes me really pleased with myself! thank you! (o)
comment-vanishing has been happening to me too!
that lotion sounds heavenly! :)

Chiquita Banana, good to have you back! yep life isnt always clear-cut. :) thanks!

Lorena, of course i don't mind, i find the discussions even more interesting, more people should do it. :)

Dee, am moved by your sweetness! thanks! hugs. :)

Mridula said...

You have a way with words, with me such feelings would always remain (if I treied to write about them) vague and rather flat!

M said...

This post is somehow different from your other posts..and I like it too...:)

nin said...

thanks for dropping by.......
hope to see u again....

gulnaz said...

Mridula, nah you write well too, i read your blog, i know. :)

M, have just read your latest post, it justifies forgetting to blog totally. :) am glad you liked this...too. :)

Avik, sure! :)

Jaxe said...

Hi Gul :-) This is absolutely beautiful. And this feeling of desire is one of the best in life. I'm like you though, can't really act on it, so it becomes even more taboo (and then even more desirable, heh!) I love the euphoria of meeting someone new, the immediate attraction, the limitless initial *swoooon* where your knees buckle, and the unbridled potential. *sigh*

Crap, just another hopeless romantic turned unrequited, turned accountant ;-) Awesome post Gul !!!

j

Vasu the terrible said...

vouyer... hmmm... nothing wrong.. Its all perfectly fie and healthy ...

:D...

vasu

gulnaz said...

Jaxe, :)) am so glad you liked it so much!! :)

Vasu, ;)

Manjusha said...

Being attracted to something or someone is a heady rush for me. The sheer exhilaration of being alive.

Russell Ragsdale said...

Seems foolish to leave a comment. So many appropriately nice things have been said! But passing by without saying thanks leaves a bad feeling in me that is as sturbborn as swollowing something nasty. Beautifully done Gulnaz!

gulnaz said...

Manjusha, yes...its heady, brings everything into a sharper focus at the same time dimming some. :)

Russell, awww thanks, that is so sweet of you! :))

Indigo said...

great imagery in your post! I feel like I'm experiencing it. I think it's on the same level as flirting with someone .... it can bring attraction from afar so much closer to home.

gulnaz said...

Indigo, *chuckles* thanks :)

Smith said...

I must say, this post is something I have been trying to express myself. Yes, attraction does leave an imprint on you, similar to a scent. And I think a part of it is the pure flood of emotion and happiness that only comes from those butterflies in your stomache. You glow and you smile, no matter what your actions are. They say there is nothing being in love, other than that feeling of pure attraction. You never forget any feelings of attraction to anyone you come in contact with, and just savoring the moment can change you for a lifetime.

finnegan said...

gulnaz, this parlor is becoming like trans' site with the long scroll of comments---i can see why!
your writing is intimately light-hearted and sweet, with a subtle quality of yearning.

i agree about not always needing to act on impulses. sometimes (often!) the disappointment drowns
out the original emotion and you're left feeling blue or foolish.

your "flowery" fuchsia lipgloss recalling touched me. it was a bit arousing until i read that you
were only 9 or 10...cough cough...which instantly made me feel like a pedophile.

gulnaz said...

Gifford, i am glad it resonates with you....all of us have felt this crazy feeling and what a wonderful thing that is. :)

finnegan, i'm a big of fan of trans myself! :)
fear of feeling blue or foolish, does save one from a lot of heartache. don't worry about feeling like a pedophile, i have always been a bit of lolita myself. hehehe

kasturi said...

love your writing, gulnaz, and the sentiments as well...

gulnaz said...

kasturi, am so glad that you do! :) i hope you come by again. :)

Itineranting said...

So true..but that first moment when one acts upon it is usually even more intoxicating than the days before or after...