static noise

i press my face down into the sheets...
the sound of your voice, languidly naked
scribbles, scratches and marks my silence.

i listen to you straining my body to remember each word. i will want to play those words over and again in my head. maybe repeating them will make them come true. maybe repeating them will take away their sharpness. maybe repeating them i will understand the subtexts, the emphasis...all those little meanings which hide behind words, maybe those will all come to me then, for right now i only hear the sound of tears restrained in your voice and am unable to hear anything else.

surreal

in a dust filled sky, your faint outline on the horizon tempts me with its promise of a refuge. are you a mirage or a distance not covered?

the dust sits on my skin, i can taste it with every breath. all the words are scattered and some fall to the ground torn by thorns and worn thin and useless. there remain a couple clutched tight in my fist but i wonder which ones do i pluck for you?

i cannot see you clearly though i hear you, i know your voice but sometimes you speak in a tounge that is not yours. then you become a stranger who i have no reason to trust and yet still...

surreal to let you go. sunlight seems harsh and voices discordant, distant.
far away, over there the sun covers you in its gold. the dream finally bites the dust.

Perhaps some day this will all make sense.

sometimes

if the nights were sweeter than caramel and the hours were painted crimson would the practicalities still matter. sometimes we were in love. the little boy ready to please for a smile. the man reaching out to reassure with a warm jacket and a steady hand. i lose when i count. but we danced secretly between moments where tiny heartbeats grew firm.

anew

black streaks
down her cheeks
-remanants of him

he fades

in her endless smile

-a footnote

night breeze

whispers to the leaves

- a new moon

midnight rain

moonsoons bursts
in the middle of the night

-i awake.

infinite raindrops

bouncing in the courtyard

loudly oblivious to all

lets do it again

the ghosts of your world
blindfold you
you dissolve in the beauty of the ocean
and submerge in her madness
her dark lips consume you
you lose yourself completely
thrown and tossed and sucked in and sucked in deeper still...
breathless and limp yet you stay...


my solitude
my thoughts disappear
its just her pumping through my veins
leaving me parched for her wet saltiness...the ocean.


turbulent tumultuous turmoil
tears or tired times...don't matter.
we can still be brave and we can still be young but only if we love again.

keep the faith

i feel the moistness of the day heavy on my skin today...heavy as expecatation.
this sense of something which i wait for brings with it a restlessness, a vauge dissatisfaction...
here i am, searching for someone who will bring a sense of home to my soul...
i am part of that greedy tribe who wants evermore. perhaps it is so as we trade bits of our being for all that we have or think that we have.
some take pleasure in my smiles and some lay store by my strength but what i need is someone at whose feet i can lay down and forget all my troubles....
for a thousandth time i tell myself that it is not for a human to be so to another.
desires are nutty, cooky little creatures and i guess that is fine for they are not mere calcuations and calculations are fine everywhere except when it comes to our soft beating bits.
maybe i should go for a pilgrimage, walk in silence in the company of coffee and clean drinking water.
dreaming of a destiny and perhpas with each step coming closer to you but never close enough...
the problem is, i think, i have neither faith enough nor hope enough and yet i seem to have both enoguh to take me through each day. that is so perhaps because faith and hope unlike carbon are eternal energy sources, renewable and unlimited. they are there within us, if we want them.