i shut down the noise filtering in my ears. there is nothing i can do about it. i zone out. i drift away. there is a place i need to be, far away from everywhere i know but how do i find my way to there? the answers will come, they are easy but its the questions which are tricky. close your eyes to what you don't want to see and let it all fit how you want yourself to be. i change. i grow. i am not the person i used to be anymore. i see shades of my older self in people i knew back then but the disconnect has deepened and i don't even feel like closing the chasm. i care less and less about what you might think perhaps because you don't care enough anyways or maybe I don't.
In my mind i walk through the open spaces under a sky as pale as the grains of sand which stick to my brown ankles. distance ...just endless distance from everywhere. only the sound of the sighing wind whispering in my ears of an ancient need, of a timeless search. somethings don't come with a time stamp and somethings remain with us forever. i look for you in this vast nowhere and maybe this is how i reclaim my lost self.
under the sun stabbed sky runs a river deep below and before i am through I will drink from it. sun shine pierces the darkest of hearts but are you ready to see all that it reveals? how do i describe the sweetness of sand and how do i tell you that to be soundless, scared and still like a bloom in perpetuity is not what i want.
i look for you under that sun stabbed sky. i strain to hear your name on that wandering minstrel's song. the night comes at last and tonight i will search for you in my dreams and we will wash ourselves from the waters of that river.
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