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In the twinkling of an eye you realize his hollowness, a peculiar feeling. It is not a punch in the stomach. It is not an icy slap of water in your face. What it is is a brand new day, unsullied by illusions: unexpected and in your face like daybreak over the ocean.
The sameness of his talk and you gag your scream, it will not help. The smallness of his heart and you are left holding barrenness. Your mistakes: your errors of judgment, your failings, your fall...all so clear now. All the excuses you made for him when others pronounced him guilty are now vacuous billboards along the stack of drained words. Resentment crows over the horizon, a sour taste, a feeling beyond hate. What is that feeling? You try to figure out the deafening, demeaning silence in your heart but there is no understanding yet.
But the odd part is you have brought into being tranquility even though you are sorry that dawn was late in coming. Stray tears, a prayer for forgiveness, for refuge and sanctuary and still your quiet waters remain untouched by regret.
21 comments:
Your shell has just shattered. Welcome to life.
regret
oh well
what the hell
or so said papillon
thats whats i replaced regert by and seems to work beautifully
but i guess zhoen's words are more apt
welcome to life
zhoen- your feedback feels great!! thanxxx!
manu- oh well/what the hell....lurrv that!! :)
cherie- yeah, healing is good when it comes from the inside...thanks. :)
This is absolutely beautiful writing. Thank you for coming by my blog. Forgive me, I spelled your name wrong on my comment. But I love your writing--it flows beautifully--do you write prose poetry because your writing has that fee.
Beautifully said Gulnaz, but let not your love freeze up so quickly that there won't be a defrost possible
What to say when someone can play the flute to the notes of your heart? :)
I hope this is prose of a fictional nature, not a personal one. Beautifully written either way!
p.s: Ramadan Mubarak! :D
And Untouched, It should be! Why Regret? for that in-itself redifines/refines peace for you!
Tears: do not deserve the blandness of this word 'stray';
Yes the silence is deafening/ demeaning but isn't it meant to be this way? and somehow it helps you in loving yourself :)
How it touched me to the core I cant start to express the feeling so amzing to be into this feeling when you read your thoughts...Would love to write it in a poem...Am I upto it that is the question
remind me, the next time i wax lyrical about transience, that there is another on the blog scene that could easily wear her crown. you princess, you. delightful writing.
enemy of the republic- its ok, you can spell my name wrong anytime for all the sweet things you have said here, thank you! :)
i like the feel of the forms combined...it pleases me...i'm so happy that you liked it. :)
Renee- hey good to see you back here! :) ice age won't be able to freeze me, i think. lol
Merry weather- well...you just sing along in that case and happy ramzan to you too! :)
Pat Paulk- its always a lil bit personal, isnt it. :) thank you!!
Anon- thank you so so much for your feedback, you don't have to say it anonymously though. regret is not always negative, yes...just a bit of a nag though.
yOu are right, i was lazy to use the word stray with tears, i wanted to use worthless, impotent or meaningless instead.
are you sure silence is meant to be so? i think everyhting is just meant to be so and not into some imagined version which i might have ...yes it does help you in liking yourself better.
Nasra- you can write about anything you put your mind to! i'm sure of that and thank you, thank you, thank you! :)
CJ- its just past five in the morning, i have had my pre-dawn meal, the fast has started and i turn on the computer and i find this OH_MY_MY comment from you and i can't stop giggling!! :)) thank you and i love transience, so you can just imagine how pleased i'm right now! good morning to you too!
Congratulations on the acceptance, dear heart. The color of truth is blinding, yet unmistakably beautiful when recognized.
Eloquent way of writing how your balloon was popped. Life doesn't always give us warning and then suddenly, it's so crystal clear the refections blind you.(Often one wonders, "how/why didn't I notice this before??" I'm glad you didn't chastise yourself and you're at peace now with decisions.
no lady, do not be so harsh to tears. they are some precious gifts imbibed with transparence as well as tangibility of our dreams from the past. Perhaps ur frame of refernce may be the corporeality of this heartless world.
One sheds them when one is closest to one's part of the truth!
nooo, ur imagination is all so poetic!
hey, gunaz..no cheating on the fast!!!
mermaid- you are right about that and that is why i see so much of it in your writings. :)
silvermoon- isnt it a wonderful feeling to be at peace with your decisions. :)
anon- you have really got me intrigued now!!! its amazing how you have put tears through the prism and so correctly to. thank you!!!! :)
CJ- heehehee! ;)
This is what I've missed, the subtle way you frame each word with poetry even the hard things in life
Sue- oh thank you Sue!! means so much to me coming from you!
Jinx. I was trying to phrase it is so many different ways but it was either too extreme or too cudgeled. I'm still trying to figure my way out of that one though. Bitter/regretful on your own or vocally and can there be a Golden Mean of both. What works.
moizza- that which works for you. :)
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