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Part 1
Heartbeats
Wild Congo drums
“Easy now, girl”
Heat
Suffused cheeks
Permeates down.
Eyes shut tight
He whispers
“I’m here now…”
Part 2
Heartbeats
Ragged, louder footsteps
“Courage now!"
Cold
Fingers tremble
Moist cheeks sunken
Eyes shut tight
He whispers
“I’m here now…”
9 comments:
Good contrast.
"Heat
Suffused cheeks
Permeates down."
"Cold
Fingers tremble
Moist cheeks sunken"
But come any weather a smile invariably lights up your face when he comes, does'nt it?
love the first stanza the most, yeah right! wild congo drums , my heart beats like that a little too often these days, and You're so right easy now girl, I like it.;)
such vivid desire
bablu, missy and Joann, thanks all of you for your comments. yes its also about desire and passion but the second half was about a love gone sour....when anticipation turns into dread. i am sorry i was not able to portray it correctly.
Great juxtapositioning here..I DID think you were portraying love and hate/fear? So hey grrrl..go easy! *Smiles* u DID portray it rather nicely..its just that the reader will always interpret it according to his own unique thinking and perspective!
:)
clever and neat and teasing. i like it a lot especially . . .
'Heat
Suffused cheeks
Permeates down.'
Pincushion, thanks for the perspective and the comment. :)
Cocaine Jesus, thank you. :)
Excellent contrast from one part to the other. I like the subtlety of "heat" and "cold" between to two. Well written!
.:A:., *big grin* thanks *big grin continues*
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