of demon and fairy thoughts

just one more day to go and then this year is over.  a new year and i will find new thoughts, its important to have new thoughts.  they keep you young, they keep you smelling fresh.  some days you just can't find anything new to think about and the old thinking patterns, old and unhealthy reactions, take hold of you, toss you up, pin you down, motionless and inert.

BUT if you can move even a single muscle, if you can make even that tiniest move then you can break that stranglehold; if you just shower and wear nice clothes you will feel better.

the universe, this life is not to our design. it seems we are playing a role in another's production and we could have done it so much better, so it seems at times...perhaps yes, perhaps no...there is only way of finding out:  design the next 15 minutes with whatever material you have at your disposal and you will have your answer.

of all the many demon thoughts i have, there is one fairy thought which places me firmly in the seat and pulls me through: "...I'll be fine inshallah..."  

Dear God

i am pleased. liar.

are you smiling?

and what about the hurt that you bear?  that you hide?

i hide my nakedness in your white woven wool, it scratches my skin as i fight to retain it from the shameless winds.  

i'm standing on the roof, the blue skies above me, the white washed walls beneath my feet.  i begin to climb down the stairs but stop to see women wrapped in white surrendering to Allah in prayer under a swaying palm.  

Make it easy for me, I pray.  I bow.  Just the way it should be.  Just the way it is meant to be.

river

breath unto breath
dissolved;
but a disconnect now
a severance, yet not quite.